Thoughtful Thursday

Yesterday was a surreal day. In addition to the normal ups and downs of life, especially now, within certain confines of COVID-19, it was the 5th anniversary of my baby brother’s passing.

In so many ways, I still have not really grasped that he is no longer here. Logically, of course, I know he is not. At times, I still think, “Oh, I need to tell him this or show him that,” only to have grief slap me HARD in the face when I realize he is gone. The oddest, strangest reality is that I think of him most in the early morning when I am preparing for my day. I cannot tell you how often I am crying while I am showering, and sometimes I realize I am crying without even knowing I started.

He was bigger than life, a scrapper and fiercely protective of his family and those he held dear. He could sell anything to anyone and leave them grateful for the purchase. He was also one of the biggest practical jokesters-and no one was off limits!

His passing was totally unexpected. No one, even his Dr, knew he had a congenital heart condition that sat silently waiting. Though this was the hardest thing I have experienced in my life thus far, there are several things I am thankful for, too. I am thankful my parents, especially my Mom, predeceased him. I am thankful that he was a born-again believer in Christ. I am thankful that I KNOW I will one day be reunited with him in heaven. I am thankful I had a part in raising him, watching him grow and loving him. I am thankful I knew him. I am thankful he was my brother.