2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (KJV) 8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Reading Paul’s words today I was hit by these verses. I have really been struggling with my infirmities and my Dad’s recent, and ongoing, recovery.
I have only recently been learning things in my Christian walk that I should have learned years ago. I’m not faulting anyone, for truth be told, I’m much more to blame than anyone else is. (This will be addressed in a future blog.)
I have always had a VERY, VERY hard time with trust that has transferred into all areas of my life.
Difficulties in trust arise when the protector(s) are the perpetrators or alternately turn a blind eye to the abuse/abuser(s). Even though trying to control all aspects of life is wearying and impossible the illusion offers comfort.
Trust is difficult to impossible in some circumstances and in spite of the issue, one can have a rich and comforting prayer life, but letting go and trusting God is still nigh on to impossible.
And therein lies the problem-letting go of the illusion, placing trust in no one and clinging to the belief that with enough hard work, research, etc. that things can and will get better; after all time heals all wounds, right?
Consequently, trusting the Lord with my health and that of my Dad’s is a major effort for me and at this point in my life, it should not be.